UGH!

ugh... i can't study. why can't i just sit down and memorize?!? i've been told the exam was hard - crap!!! i hate this... this lack of motivation. Why do I not care anymore about honours? Are my papers good enough for me to do nothing now? Shouldn't I be competing for surgery?! Can i just play in China this summer? ... What's with this sudden lack of ... ambition? ugh...

(looked at my credit card bill... i spent waaaay too much money on the dress and the shoes that i will never wear again cuz they're so freaking painful. girly shoes suck. but it's still better than renting, i guess... other than the fact that my parents would've been like "wtf is that?!", i also don't like the idea of putting on clothing that many strangers have put on before me... i'd rather wear my nasty formaldehyde labcoat. oh, and btw, the first years stink of formaldhyde! i can only imagine what we smelled like last year... wonder how many people thought we were disgusting.... oh well! 'tis part of the growing up process... of meds life)