Best goddam driver

So I get to the station parking lot today and there was hardly anyone there, so i park in my usual spot.  not a story, right? 

WRONG! 

 

I get back to my car in the afternoon, to find that someone parked behind me (legally; in a marked spot), and a fucking jackass son of a bitch parked in front of me!!!  In hindsight, i should popped his goddam fucking tires, and keyed the moron's car.  fucking jackass. 

So, i walk over to the collector's booth (its really far, a good 4-5min walk, which is far considering its the same goddam station), and the man tells me "You'll have to call the Tow truck company; their number is posted in the lot.  Sorry, its out of my hands.  This isn't TTC's problem" ... I beleived him, walked back to the lot (another 5minutes), and called the number posted - "Today Towing" ... but guess what, that company doesn't fucking exist anymore!!  COMPETENCE!  The nice lady on the other end told me its an outdated sign, and then gave me the number for another towing company.  I called them, and they told me to call the POLICE!  After asking them for the number (didn't wanna call 911), the pseudo-cop told me that its "private property" (belongs to TTC), so the TTC has to call them and get them to come tow it!!  AND he said that the collector booth dude was wrong and talk to him again.  So i did.  (another 5min walk!)  Then the guy calls "someone", and after speaking to that person, he said "well, they said they'll come see".... So i walk back to my car (another 5minutes), and waited.  a good 2 minutes later (it felt like forever), no one comes.  So i decided to call the TTC general line.  THAT guy was so much nicer and so much more COMPETENT!!!  He immediately called the Parking Authority, who dispatched a tow truck.  .... and i had to wait.  and wait.  and wait. 

 

So i decided to try something different... patience is a virtue i do not have.

The car in front of me (aka. the fucktard) parked a foot away from my bumper, the car behind me parked 1.5feet away.  There was no one to my right, but a car to my left and front left.  .... BUT with my fucking astounding, breath-taking, fucking SUPER driving skills (and a 100-"point turn" later), i was able to get myself out of that parking spot by backing out and going towards my right!!!  I hit zero cars, i scratched zero cars.  I am fucking awesome.  and it was fucking frustrating and I literally "kissed" three cars repeatedly to get out, but i scratched ZERO cars!

 

The TTC guy NEVER came.

The tow truck wasn't there when i got there.  who knows how long it'll take them to get there.

There were 6 other cars who were double-parked in and wouldn't be able to get out.

 

Lesson 1: When you get the run-around re: parking from idiots who don't know what they're talking about when they really should, just call the Parking Authority (416 393 PARK) and save urself time and trouble

Lesson 2: Always pay back the car that fucked you over (i.e. key it, pop its tires, leave a death note, steal the hubcab or at least bend them off and damage them in some way, etc) - they deserve it for wasting your precious time.  If i was making real money, imagine how much money an hour of my time would've been.

Lesson 3: Don't depend on anyone else but urself.

Lesson 4: If you don't know the rules of the road, or if you're a shitty driver, just stay off the fucking road.  Save us all the trouble.  ACtually, u may very well save your own and someone else's life, retards.