story time

wow, two posts in one day - i must be bored... or just procrastinating as always.

anyhow, i have a story.
Since i never apply to any scholarships, nor do we have a home office, i have no large envelopes. and since i must apply to nserc/ogs/restracomp, i need large envelopes. so, in desperation and cheapness (i'm not spending $15+tax on 100 envelopes! i need like, THREE), i asked my cousin to thieve me some from his work. yes, thieve me some. anyhow, so i went to meet him in the lobby of the office building where he works. wait, before i get to that, i'd just like to say, Museum station is on Bloor!! WTF!??!?! i walked from Sid Smith to Museum, thinking it would be closer than st.george - WRONG! stupid artist's conception of the damn ttc map! gebus! ... oh ya, and then i went to Union stn for some $2.50 sausages. mmmmm.... dirty. no, gutterbrains - physically dirty - the dude handles money, and then the bread, with no hand washing in between. so if i die from some weird bacterial infection in the next few days, go find the guy that sells $2.50 sausages in front of Union, the eastern-most vendor. anyway. back to the real story.

so, i get to the office, and low-and-behold, my cousin's not there yet. (he's ALWAYS late, no exceptions. and i mean NO EXCEPTIONS. can't blame him - his dumbass father was late for his wife's funeral. me and my dad got there first... and then waited... and waited... and waited... and guests came... and waited... and waited... *pause* back to the story) So, since this is a very ugly office building with absolutely nothing in the lobby, i decided to wait for him by the elevators. so, i stand by the elevators. a few minutes later, a guy comes out of the elevator, walks around the lobby a few times, and walks back to the elevators where he saw someone he knew. the other guy says hi, and this lobby-walker, looking and sounding pissed says "where the hell is the security guard?? he's not here. he's ALWAYS supposed to be here!!" ... the other dude shrugged, and they both went upstairs in the elevator together. so here i am, waiting, thinking "HAHA! the security guard is in trouble!!" ....

five minutes later....
A security guard emerges from some random (but previously hidden to me) door in the lobby, near the elevators. he looks at me and very rudely exclaims "You can't stand there". Looking around for any "no parking", "no standing", "do not block doorway" signs and finding none, AND realizing i was not in a doorway, i was thinking "fuck you". ... but instead, being the obedient little girl that i am, i said "ooooo...kkkkkk" in a "i think you're the dumbest fuck in the world"-kinda way. .... after which the following conversation takes place:

Him: You can't stand here.
Me: You already said that. [walking away from the elevators]
Him: Are you waiting for someone?
Me: Yes.
Him: You have to stay in the lobby.
Me: Okay. [raises eyebrow, then walks towards lobby... it's about three steps... two steps for tall people]
Him: You have to stay on the left side of the lobby.
Me: Okay. [looks towards to 'left' side of the lobby - it's a mirror image of the 'right' side - i realize the building is symmetrical.]
Him: You have to sit on the left side.
[I look at the left side.... there is nothing to sit on. NOTHING.]
Him: You have to sit on the stairs on the left side.
Me: WHAT?!!?!?!??!?
Him: Sit on the stairs [in a brown accent].
Me: UH... NO! *pause* I'm not sitting on the stairs!!! I'm going to stand RIGHT HERE [on the right side of the lobby]

... i mean, what kinda demand is that?!? it's not even SLIGHTLY reasonable! As long as i don't get in any one's way, I think i should be allowed to stand anywhere i want to!!! it's not the fucking Empire State Building or the CN Tower for god's sake!!! it's a shabby office tower in downtown Toronto. SHA-BBY!

Anyway, for the next 5 minutes (cousin was very late), he didn't move. He was standing where i was standing first, by the elevators, STARING at me. cuz yes, this short sausage-eating glasses-wearing nerdy chinese girl wearing a MGCI pull-over that has her name embroidered on it is gonna be a security risk. no, she can't be really waiting for her cousin to give her ENVELOPES, she's really here to blow the building up! uh-huh.

I hope he got in trouble.