...

hm, i gues i was wrong. she really does have feelings. ... tho i don't wanna take sides, i feel like i have to. stupid family. by taking sides, i hafta not like her, even tho i don't know her [very well... or at all pretty much]. but if she's anything like her mother, in terms of logic, then i don't feel bad about not liking her. oh well. i'm gonna assume she's not. hopefully, the bunch of us will be okay... stupid family, stupid grandma, but we'll be fine, right? anyway. ... ya, and i agree, it is a tough pill to swallow seeing a loved one intubated and having tubes coming in/out of every orface in their body plus a few more needles and a shitload more monitors.

why can't all my cousins be cool like billy? ... rather, why can't my GIRL cousins be cool like billy? ... so i only have two and they're both younger, but 21 days should not make a difference now that we're this old. ... maturity doesn't come with 21 days i guess. ... ugh. and why are all the girls in china so ... "fake"... it's like they're putting on a show 24/7!! ... i'm sure not all of them are, but i'm gonan say most. and the ones who are not are prolly the super nerds who are ugly and pale cuz they never go out. i guess that's one plus for them in the eyes of weird-ass chinese ppl and what they consider to be beautiful - i.e. skin that's white as chalk... and paler than indonesian prisses, according to joey. ... and by that definition, i guess i'm super duper ugly then - at least in the summers when i'm darker than cc!!! okay, maybe not (?? i forget), but almost as dark as CC at least!!! and of course i'm obese in the eyes of chinese ppl. and my boobs are supposedly fake. and my armpits do NOT have long black hair. and i actually cut my fingernails [and toenails! go me]. and i don't like nailpolish. and i don't like makeup. and my head is too big. see, i hate chinese people.

my rats are cute. i hope they don't scream today. ... i'll CO2 them first with dry ice, cuz dry ice is so cool, and then they hopefully won't squirm as much.

played cards yesterday ... that's all andrew wanted for his bday - to play cards with tammy and johnny. no joke. ... so that's what we did. i like andrew's requests. hahahahaaaa!!!

i saw this guy in the subway today, and for a very long moment, i thought that it was nicky. i was almost gonna go talk to him, until i realized that he was semi-crippled, and very obviously mentally retarded. HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

when is leehom coming here??