Ben and Stupid

why doesn't the new blogger remember me?!?! i check the 'remmeber me' checkbox!

i guess i haven't updated for awhile... a week seems like awhile to me...
so, i've been at the lab everyday since the "break", 'cept i'm sick now too... i hate being sick... breathing sux! yup, breathing sux if it hurts to breathe!!! grrrr.... that's two years in a row now - UTIs in october, and really sick around xmas day!! ... merry xmas btw, one and all. if u celebrate it. if u don't - happy day offf!!! :D ... i get neither.

so Stupid and stupid came over the other day. fine, ben deserves a name. but Stupid doesn't. at one point during dinner, i whacked my mom on the leg to smt that Stupid said, and my mom didn't respond... so i thought she didn't get it... but she told me later that she noticed, it hurt, and that she couldn't look at me cuz Stupid was looking at her!!!! hahahahaaa!!! ... so through-out dinner, i was trying to tell ben stuff like "you have to exchange money before china! u're a grown-up now, u make ur own money, u shouldn't be accepting money from ANYONE! you have to take the family out for dinner at least once, and YOU must pay for it, etc etc etc" ... stuff that an 'adult' would tell a teenager... 'cept he's OLDER THAN ME!!! by almost 5 yrs! the guy's almost 30, and he doesn't know any better than a 16yr old... make that a 6 yr old. ... then guess what Stupid says? "oh, i'll give you money, don't exchange any money" ... 'cept he doesn't fucking have ANY money, at least none that he plans to get from his own fucking pocket! he's 60, and he still EXPECTS money from his 84 and 86 yr old parents! AND from his wife, whom dollar for yuan, makes a whole fucking shitload LESS than he does! fucking bastard. everytime he goes back, he actually MAKES money!!!! what kind of sick loser is that?!?!? he was 'pretend' asking my mom where to exchange money, like he was actually gonna do it. but he had no idea how it worked even!!!! so, of all the times that he's gone back since 1986, he hasn't EVER exchanged money, or spent his own goddam money even once! how immature is that?!?! fine, a 10yr old, spend ur mommy's money. but a fucking 60yr old?!?!? i've been spending my own money since i was 16!!!! since i started working! he started working for some 40+ yrs ago, and he still asks his old and crippled and sick mommy and daddy for money. fucking jackass LOSER!
also during dinner, as i was telling ben that he must take 'em out, he says "oh of course! all the "foreigners" when we go back, we do it! like my dad, he does it all the time!" ... that's when i whakced my mom. riiiight... well, let the ppl in china tell u what REALLY happens in china huh? since u've never actually been back while ur dad was there at the same time! ... in 20+yrs, since 1986, he has not paid for a single meal that he's eaten with the fmaily. who's footing the bill? EVERYONE else! i..e all the ppl that actually live in china, and make 'yuan' as opposed to DOLLARS!!! fucking bastard... i hate you. i have absolutely NO respect for you whatsoever. not as an 'uncle', and not as a person, or even as a stranger.
Stupid also said "you're the 'sun zi', no one would ever yell at u, because u're the 'sun zi', no one could ever get mad you" (sun zi = son of son of son... i.e. same last name, but wiht a dick [as i don't have one and i do have the same last name]) ... obviously, that was another stab at MY dignity - i'm used to it, but i'm not... cuz i'm their grandchild too, and altho i know that my yeye loves me more than anyone else, it still hurts when others put doubt into ur head. especially when he makes it sound like it's Ben's birth right to be loved by one and all and to be excused for his stupidity and selffishness JUST because he's got the same last name and a dick, and that it's my birthright to be treated like shit all the time. ... and u wonder why i hate this "uncle"??!?! but honestly, all of the aunts i care about (i.e. didn't care if they died) love me and so do my grandparents... but Stupid refuses to believe that, because that will undermine the love for his son. oh ya. cuz that's the way it works.
then ben, i guess he doesn't know any better, and his dad has made him a pompous, selffish ass, says "oh, everyone loves my dad and me in china" ... riiight... of course, they all act really really nice and polite, since they see you every two yrs or so, but ya know, they actually really really really don't like him or you now! HAHAAHAHAHAHA!!! cuz now, they FINALLY have something to compare to! before, maybe they thought that dollar store gifts were the norm. but since my dad's been back, and given them thousands of CDN dollars worth of gifts, the dollar store gifts seem a little shabby in comparison. just a bit, just a TAD. and now that my dad has taken them out to dinner soooooooooooooooo many times, and done soooooooooooo incredibly much for my grandparents, the family, all relationships, in the short 3 weeks he was there, Stupid basically, is crap. and all the siblings agree. funny how that works huh? it's called Karma, cheap ass! ... but of course, u can expect Stupid to be bad mouthing me (uh duh, how's that a surprise?) and bad-mouthing my dad to absolutely everyone in china. it's to be expected, cuz that's the kind of selffish, self-promoting, self-glorifying, self-loving, narcisistic idiot that he is. i just really really hope that the ppl in china finally make his place known to him. tell him what they really think of him. i think that'll be just grand, even tho i truly doubt that will happen. hopefully aunt #2 will do it, hehheee... she speaks her mind, like me. tell him that you hate him for 'kiling' ben's mom. for making their favourite niece (ya, there are only two, but hey, i kick the other one's ass to the fucking moon!!!!) feel like crap everytime he's near. for cheaping out all the time. for ... EVERYTHING. dooooo it!!!